Dutch league kicks off with the classic Ajax-Feyenoord
After an one-month stop in the Netherlands, the Dutch football league is getting started again this weekend, and it’s a kick-off with a bang with the Dutch version of the Old firm or El Classico namely De Klassieker: Ajax-Feyenoord. Background The two Dutch traditional giants aren’t the illustrious teams from the sixties and seventies anymore, … Continue reading
Week 2: Karma is a Bitch
The second week of 2013 (or if you’re Oriental and adhere to more awesome ways of mapping time, the Year of the Dragon) brought us new things of interest. For starters, the Netherlands fulfilled its duties by coming to the aid of its NATO ally Turkey, and send them a package of shiny things that … Continue reading
Social media and the Dutch Spring
After the Middle East, and to some extend India and some other countries, now even the Netherlands seem to be in a little “spring-revolution” thanks to the new possibilities of social media. Should the Binnenhof fear for its survival? Probably not. Can Rutte and Asscher pack their bags and get lost? That neither. The Dutch … Continue reading
The Preemptive Dutch Hall of Shame of 2013: Ready Your Facepalms!
Hope and optimism are for self-hating pussies. You don’t need to be Nostradamus to predict that some things are not going to end well. Here are five people/groups who will be sure to embarrass the Netherlands on an international level over the course of this year. As a bonus, each entry will feature a … Continue reading
Week 1: 2013 starts without a noticable bang
Week 1 In a rather uneventful first week in the Netherlands, the biggest news was that there were no huge violent events at ‘Old and New’. Some other stuff occurred as well… That was it for week 1. See you next week!
Left punch to E5
We Dutchmen have brought a lot of things into this world (got fire hoses? Yeah, thought so…). Being a small country and growing up in a world where every neighbor wants to conquer or enslave you made us a resourceful bunch, with a list of innovations including but not limited to instruments of war (got … Continue reading
Dutch Babes: Unox edition
Nothing beats waking up from your alcoholically induced New Years Eve celebrations coma (yeah, FUCK YOU TO!, Tequila…) like reviewing the photographic evidence of the most recent Nieuwjaarsduik (New Year’s Dive) and its past glory. Every country has its own tradition of making up stupid traditions. The Greek, for example, once witnessed a guy dropping … Continue reading
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Piss off the Dalai Lama.
BEING DESTINED FOR GREATNESS COMES IN MANY FORMS. Some conquer nations, some develop cures for horrible diseases, some sail uncharted seas, and some can hit that mark that nobody thought was possible. Some people go that extra mile and dare to do what you’d expect to be just as impossible as dividing by zero: someone, … Continue reading
An Open Letter to the End of the World As We Know It
Dear End of the World As We Know It, What the fuck, man?! You used to be cool! Pardon me for starting off so strong, but seriously, WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?! I just got back from days of hiding in my home-made bunker in the woods, surrounded by a mountains of canned food, ammunition … Continue reading
War of the Words: the Banality of the Present Killing Business
“Civilization began when a person threw an argument instead of a rock”, says old-age wisdom. Which is to say: wisdom from people who never lived to see the Information Age. Say what you will about those pretentious, rambling and incomprehensible French post-modernists (I’m looking at you, Derrida!), but they were spot-on about language being more … Continue reading
CELEBRATION, BITCHES!!!
My fellow Americans, this will be a short update. Today’s victory of your great socialist leader Barack Hussein Obama II over Mitt ‘Mo Money, Mo’ Romney has left us godless, leftist, babyslaughtering and coke snorting motherfuckers here in the Netherregions no less than jubilant. Some more insightful words will follow this recent political event, but … Continue reading
Romney’s Dutch money connections
Now we decent leftist folk in the Netherlands like Obama more than Romney. We like killing our babies and elderly, smoke weed, and amp up taxes so much that even Stalin would see us as the better commies. Henceforth it should come as no surprise that most people in the Netherlands root for Obama, just … Continue reading
The Dutch Improvisation Spirit of 1590, or: How We Loved It When a Plan Came Together…
There was a time when us Dutchies ruled the waves, a fact of which we are today simultaneously as proud of as we are ashamed of it (something about getting mad rich from selling human beings as property will do that to you). But that power trip is a thing of the past; nowadays our … Continue reading
Famous Dutch laywer Moszkowicz loses everything today
October 30, 2012. Famous Dutch lawyer Bram Moskowicz loses news anchor girlfriend Eva Jinek and his license to practice law on the same day.
James Bond forced to binge drink a case of Heineken!
In case you have been hiding out in a cave the last couple of months, the new and already widely praised James Bond movie Skyfall is to be released in the upcoming days. And in case you’ve living in this particular cave without satellite up-link, people are only shitting all over it because of product … Continue reading
The Domestication of Man
How do we reduce the animal that is man to the point where he can witness the murderer of his daughter walking off unprosecuted and then shrug it off with a sterile version of “Can’t win all the time…”? You tell me. I know the Dutch have a reputation for being ‘sober’ and ‘down to … Continue reading
Sylvia Kristel naked! (and sadly death)
Poor baby-boomers, approaching their pension ages all around the world (if your reading this while the age in your country is still 65 or lower, your in southern -moneygrabbing- Europe), they now loose their Pamela Anderson or Kim Kardashian, or whatever bimbo that sells sleaziness these days. But since the gifted actress Sylvia Kristel was … Continue reading
Dutch art theft suspects photo leaked!
Oct. 17, 2012. The Rotterdam police have their sights set on these known criminals for yesterday’s spectacular heist at the Kunsthal.
Attack of the Creatards: The American-Dutch Stupidity Convergence
Oh, America… you so crazy! That’s not some zany, youngish manner of speech, by the way, America really is kinda crazy in one aspect. To get right down to it: the US has an astonishing amount of people embracing creationism, or in other words; for a developed country, the US has an unprecedented number of … Continue reading
Jerks don’t like jerkers
All the World loves a giver, right? Wrong! If anything is to be a paradigm for understanding human behavior, let it be the following fact: these hairless monkeys are willing to turn down free, no strings attached money that could save another hairless monkey’s life simply because of a conflict of morals. Going from either … Continue reading
Dutch news (seriously)- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
DutchReview 